Reflections of 2024…

Birch Creek, Oregon in Fall.

As I approach the closing of the current year, I'm met with the opportunity to look back on all the things I am grateful for, have learned & ways in which I've grown.

To feel the velocity of how the year has gone by, and the monumental life lessons that have been learned is an honor.

EcoFlight over the Owyhee Canyonlands - April 2024.

In 2024, I earned a seat at tables I had dreamed about. Met people who are role models in the field I work in. I made connections that I treasure so dearly both professionally & personally.  Absolutely fell in love with my job as it is everything I wanted. To create with purpose & be a part of something that is filled with the same values I align with, has felt amazing.

Smokey the Bear - Huskawolfador - 2021

I have lost this year. A friend so dear to me, I knew it would crush my soul. Losing Smokey, was something I tried to prepare myself for, but the truth is - nothing you do can prepare you for the loss of something you loved so deeply. This canine was not just a dog, but a soul connection that I will treasure forever in my life. She continues to teach me lessons even in her passing—lessons in grief, and love. To physically hurt from emotional pain. In the end, witnessing those who are often strangers reach out to offer compassion meant the world. Her passing was a reminder to love hard and authentically every day. To spoil your animals, tell those around you how much you love them, and always remember the good days you shared. Grieving Smokey has taught me lessons that I also am not ready to share because they are still mine to digest.

UNTAMED - Badger Skull on Birch Board with Copper Leaf - 2024

This year, I have deeply learned the lesson of 'you don't have to react to everything'. Breaking those generational cycles. To react is to ignite a chain reaction of emotions in both parties. Yet, now I know my power and realize not all triggers deserve my energy. The peace that comes with this, has been amazing. Self-reflection into the things that no longer serve your greatest purpose is essential to growth.

I have taken sabbatical periods from my art. Yet, the truth is - it was due to the fact I was fighting with my authentic self. It's no wonder my creative spirit felt extinguished. Stepping back into the light of myself has felt ever inspiring. I am more excited than ever to create once again. Both digitally, and through skull & bone, as well as writing. I missed all of my favorite mediums like old friends. I have greeted them with open arms.

From a different lifetime ago…. Circa 2005?

Lastly, a more controversial lesson I feel the need to address. I have always loved lady cannabis and felt her presence in my life almost necessary. For years, I have rarely had a drink of alcohol, but cannabis was that small nightly toke to ease myself into the evening. (No, I wasn't getting blazed or taking bong rips. Lol. My disdain for alcohol and those who rely on it is a story for a different day. ) However, it wasn't accomplishing what I once loved it for. No longer was I feeling its ease, and calm. I was growing tired of the cough, cotton eye & brain fog. I was wary though to stop, would all my creativity go out the window without the altered mind state?

When I had an illness take me down in Oct., I used this as an opportunity to stop the consumption of cannabis. I have not had a drink, nor a toke, or consumption of either in over a month now. I am being met with life challenges that at earlier times I would have run to inebriate. But this time, I stand my ground to feel every one of them pierce my soul. I am facing these challenges with a clear head, and heart. I have only wanted to return for one last dance with cannabis out of habit but not a necessity. Perhaps, I'm growing out of it. Perhaps, other tools that I have learned through therapy & self-reflection are being utilized instead of turning to a substance to mask it all.

New Plymouth Birding Islands - November 2024

And no, the lack of cannabis in my mind has not created a roadblock in my creativity. If anything it has been quite the opposite. As my energy has tripled, which means more stamina to create art! My ideas are solid and reflective of my surroundings and the current stirrings of my heart. Maybe lady cannabis and I will meet again on a mountaintop or deep in the desert scenery while sitting with good company & a roaring campfire. But for now, I'm loving the clarity & purity of this sobering experience.

TURMOIL - Bobcat Skull, Gold Leaf, Rose & Clear Quartz, Black Sand  - 2024

2024, has changed me. It has shaped me in so many ways, to finally listen to my own advice & follow it. I turn 40, in January and have a few gifts to give myself. Not of materialism but of boundaries and standards that I will not back down from. I am so excited and honored to greet this age. May we close the chapter of yesterday and salute the new day of tomorrow.